Sweet Son, I have some thoughts looking back on your life.
I was with you when you took your first breath; I was with you when you took your last. From first to last, it was my privilege and joy to be your mother.
I am the first person you ever touched; your touch changed me forever.
Your little baby ways won my heart. Your big grin. Laughter. Those questions: Mama, why does talking make tuna fall on the floor? Dragging your little mattress to sleep on the floor beside me. Hiding behind my skirt. Lifting your arms up to be held. Hugging me so tight. Sitting on my lap. Reading a scary book: "Shut it, Mama! Shut it!"
As a boy, you were always running, leaping into my lap for a few seconds, running on to leap up and touch the door lintel. Always reading books, drawing dragons, riding your bike, laughing, teasing, hugging.
As a teen, you made life fun. You could always make Bethany laugh. You pretty much went your own way, but you always showed respect, even if you disagreed with me and your dad.
As a man, it took you awhile to settle down and be serious about life, but after a lot of hard times, you did it. You wrote poetry to deal with life and to reach out to people. Through it all, you took the time to say you loved me. You cheered up many a day for me. Doing chores, cooking me a pancake late at night. Hugging me. You truly loved and honored your father and your mother.
During your life, you touched many people. You had friends of every color and social status. They were changed too, some of them forever, because they believed what you told them about Jesus.
Then you reconnected with Beth, the love of your life, and met three precious little kids. Your sweet family wouldn't have been the same without you. You loved them and did your best to care for them and share your faith.
The last time I touched you, I was changed again. I watched you take your last breath. I learned more about pain and grief than I ever wanted to know. Although it broke my heart, I'm glad it swept you from a world of suffering into one of absolute joy.
And though I grieve your loss, I am not without hope. Someday I will be with you again. All because of the Person whose touch changed us for eternity.
Until Jesus comes to get us, I will miss you more than I thought possible. I love you my sweet son.
Mama